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fic: "Shave and a Haircut, Two bits!" [Apr. 11th, 2006|04:16 pm]
The Do Me Louis Fan Community


[Current Location |NO]
[mood |draineddrained]
[music |Social Distortion ~ Another state of mind]

Hey folks! I just wrote this and I think its kinda cute, so here ya go!
Title "Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits!"
Author Sickgrrl
Fandom VampChron
Paring Lestat/Louis
Spoilers None that I can think of
Summary Louis gets a haircut.
Disclaimer These characters do NOT belong to me. This is a piece of amature fiction and NO profit is/will/has come from this work.

"Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits."
~by Sickgrrl

I woke with a start. I wasn't having a nightmare and I didn't hear any sudden noises. But I sat straight up in bed as if one of those things had indeed disturbed my slumber. They did not, however. What caused me to bolt upright this evening was nothing more than a feeling. One that I could place and as I glanced downward, I became aware of the cause. An empty bed and an empty house.

I looked beside me and saw that Louis was already up. "Strange. . ." I thought. I'm usually the first one to wake from the death sleep as many of you know, so I was a bit thrown off at being alone.

"Where could Louis have gone this early?" I said aloud.

We'd recently moved into one of Louis' townhouses in San Francisco after Hurricane Katrina ravaged our beloved New Orleans. The flat on the Rue Royale was perfectly in tact, but it was so horrible to be living there and have all the niceties of this modern world when so many of our less fortunate neighbors had nothing and were uprooted entirely.

I had hardly spent much time in this city during those brief years as "Monsieur Le Rock Star." I really looked forward to being in this place with someone I loved so much. But, where was that someone tonight, hm?

I decided to take a shower. Have I ever told you *just* how much I love hot showers?! They are one of my favorite things to experience in this modern age I adore so fervently.

I finished rinsing my hair, turned off the nozzle and reached for a towel from the hook beside the stall. The bathroom lacked much of the *razzle dazzle* of the master bath at the Rue Royale, but it was comfortable. And it was Louis'.

I dried myself off and began combing the mass of tangled wet blond curls that made up my hair. I opened my chest of drawers and rummaged around for something to wear.

"Nothing too flashy, tonight Lestat." I told myself. Just faded jeans and a soft blue v-neck sweater. I flopped myself down on Louis' overstuffed sofa and began my channel surfing ritual. I stopped on some news program, national not local, and tried to turn off my brain. It didn't work. I kept getting angry at the newscaster. He was interviewing some person of political power. Congressman, Senator, Governor, a member of the Presidential cabinet, or something. I didn't care to pay that much attention. It seemed to me , however, even paying the little bit of attention to it that I was, that the interviewer wasn't really getting in depth with the interviewee. He was just asking blanket questions and was getting the same old answers. I was in *no* mood to have a one-sided argument with a machine, so I turned the damn thing off!

"Argh!! Now what?" I asked myself.

I checked the clock above the entertainment center. I had only been awake for 2 hours but it felt like a whole hell of a lot longer!

"Louis! Where *are* you?!" I asked a loud.

This wasn't too out of the ordinary, really. Louis was habitually a late riser. but every now and then he beats me to the punch. He's a wanderer by nature, so maybe he just went for a walk while he was waiting for me to wake and lost track of time. This was very plausible, very Louis-esque, if you will.

I was *bored*! Like, out of my mind, ready to jump out the window, strike up a random conversation with a stranger, bored.

I began to pace the house, going from one room, walk-a-bout and examine everything, then on to the next. The house consisted of 6 rooms total so it was a very quick pacing session.

I opened all the kitchen cabinets ( a waste of time, as they were all empty. Why would vampires need dishes or food?), I tuned on every burner on the stove. I tried to burn some of the junk mail I found on the counter but that was stupid. If I *really* wanted to set something a blaze, why not just use my mind, right? And, anyway, I wasn't the immortal in our coven with the pyromaniac reputation. I walked down the small corridor from the kitchen to back to the living room and noticed the door to the half bath under the stairs was slightly a jar.

I walked in and on the sink was a pair of scissors and to my left a small waste basket half full of black hair. There was hair on the counter, in sink, on the floor.

"Hmmm. . ." I said. " How very naughty of you, Pointe du Lac!"

'Why would Louis leave a mess like that in the bathroom?' I know thats what you're thinking, right? Well, something you should know about Louis, he's easily distracted by his own thoughts. He was probably going about the mundane business of cutting his hair all the while thinking of some new boring tome he was going to bury his nose in later in the evening. When the hair was out of his face enough for him to tolerate, he probably bolted out the door and off to where ever and whatever had distracted him so. Without a backward glance at the mess he'd left.

He's done this exact thing at least 20 times that I can remember. When I would question him about it, he'd blush gorgeously and bid me a quiet, "I apologize, Lestat. I. . .was distracted." In that low voice of his.

I began cleaning the remains of Louis' hair experiment for the evening. I noticed there was more hair than usual after I had cleaned all of it up off the various surfaces of the bathroom.

I heard the front door open and close again quickly. Then the lights from the hallway and the living room went off. Next, the lights in the kitchen went out. The only light on downstairs was in that little bathroom and it was very faint.

"Louis?" I called, exiting the tiny bathroom.

I knew it was him, I could tell. No answer. Just a quick rustling of garments, like a jacket being removed. Then, the quick whoosh bang of the closet in the living room opening and closing.

"Louis. Where'd you run off to this evening?" I asked the shadow of his figure standing in front of the closet.

No answer. And he was wearing what appeared to be a hooded sweatshirt. Hood up.

"Why are you wearing your hood? It's not raining and it's not cold. And why the hell are all the lights turned off?!" I inquired moving closer.

The figure turned his back to me and dropped his head. He still wouldn't answer me and I was beginning to get irritated. I hadn't done anything to deserve the silent treatment! For once, things between us were relatively uneventful. We were getting along famously.

I *hated* being ignored and he knew it. I took a step closer, about to divest him of said hood, when he stepped beyond my reach, putting his hand out behind himself to block me.

"Lestat, please. . ." Was all he said.

"Please, what?" I demanded.

"Please, let me by." He whispered.

He turned around and began to take a step forward.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to just let you walk by me? You're acting very unusual and I'd like an explanation." I told him, trying my very best to sound authoritative.

His head snapped up and he shot me a warning glance. He had that damned hood pulled so low, I could barely see his eyes, which were firing deliciously at me.

"You will not tell me what I will and what I won't do, Lestat." He told me. He was angry and I was *loving* it. Even with what little light we had in the house, I could make out his face to perfection ( more than likely from memory too). I gave him my most wicked smile and told him,

"You didn't seem to mind me ordering you around this morning, Monsieur!"

I shouldn't have said that but he was grating my nerves. I'd been here for two and a half hours totally bored out of my mind and thinking of nothing but him. And when he gets here he's gonna get all mysterious on me? Well, I don't think so!!

He stared at me with his brow furrowed, a scowl across his beautiful face. He opened his mouth to say something and then thought better of it. He shouldered me into the wall and attempted to get passed me. I caught my self, grabbed his elbow and spun him around to face me.

"Louis!" I said furiously, grabbing the other arm and giving him a good shake. "What the hell's the matter with you?!"

He moved to get out of my grip and made quick awkward gestures to straighten his clothes. He kept his head bowed, refusing to look at me, that ridicules hood still in place. He took a step back and looked up at me, right in the eyes.

"Alright Lestat," He said. " I'll tell you what happened this evening."

I crossed my arms and leaned one shoulder against the wall so I could face him, and waited for him to continue.

"Well?" I said. " Go on."

He seemed to be nervous, unsure of himself. He looked from the door behind me, to his feet, to the ceiling. Finally, he folded his arms over his chest, leaned against the wall beside me and stared straight ahead of himself.

"I want you to promise me you aren't going to laugh." He said with all seriousness.

"I promise nothing and you know that." I told him. "Now. Louis, kindly tell me what has kept you from our humble abode this fine evening."

He sighed in that dignified way of his.

"Fine. But if you laugh, I'm leaving. I was cutting my hair tonight--"

"Oh, I know!" I said interrupting him." You left it all over the fucking bathroom for me to clean-Again!"

"Don't curse at me Lestat." He said turning to face me. " And I'm sorry about the hair. If you would be so kind as to let me finish, you would get the answer you accosted me for."

"Leave the melodrama to me, would ya Pointe du Lac?" I retorted with a grin.

"Well," He continued, " as I was saying, I was cutting my hair for the night. I woke up with it stuck to the back of my neck again and I just couldn't take it. I really wish you'd have told me that I'd be cursed with long, unmanageable hair for the rest of eternity the night you brought me into this and that maybe you had given me the chance to lop it off."

He was only kidding. The corners of his full lips were upturned ever so slightly so I'd catch his meaning. I rolled my eyes and gave him a big, theatrical, yawn.

"I was almost finished. I only had to trim the sides and the back." He said, looking back at the wall in front of him.

"But then the phone rang."He said.

"So?" I questioned. "What has that got to do with anything?"

He tightened his jaw and glared at me.

"It startled me, Lestat. Who has this number anyway?"He asked me.

"Uhm, David. And Armand I think." I answered.

"Yes. And they wouldn't call unless it was an emergency. It rang again and I answered it fearing bad news on the other end. "

"Who was it? Did something happen to David, Daniel?" I asked, my interest piqued.

"It was a bloody wrong number! Do you know, the telephone number assigned to this house is only one digit away from a local towing company?" He told me in mock irritation.

"But, anyway the phone startled me, as I said." He continued. "And I was about to cut away when it did so. I jumped at the sound and gouged an odd shaped chunk out of the side of my head."

I tried desperately to keep all signs of mirth from my face.

"I tried to even it out on the other side, but I gave up and went out to find a hair salon that was open this late." He was staring at me, his expression was unreadable.

"Are you serious?" I asked "Is this your idea of an April Fool's day gag?"

"Lestat, it's april 9th." He said matter-of-factly. "I *wish* this were a late April Fool's day joke!" He added.

"Well, it can't be that bad Louis!" I told him, reaching for his hood.

He pushed my hand away with a glare.

"Its bad Lestat. Leave it at that.''

"Uh, hello. Have we met? I'm the vampire Lestat. I do exactly *what* I want *when* I want. And I *never* just 'Leave it at that' as you so eloquently put it my misinformed beauty!" I said with my most malignant smile.

"I'm serious Lestat!" He warned, holding his slender hand against my chest.

I placed my hand over his.

"Louis, *come on*! I'll behave, honest." I batted my eyelashes for emphasis.

He smiled, a real smile. 'Score one for Lestat!' I thought.

"Alright," he said pointedly,"but don't say I didn't warn you."

He pulled off the hood and flipped the hall light on with his other hand. I stood stock still. I think my heart stopped and I'm sure my mouth was hanging open. He was bald! His hair was no more than 1/4 of an inch long!!!

"Well?" He asked. "Nothing to say?" His eyebrows lifted, sensuous mouth upturned.

I reached out and placed both hands on either side of his well shaped head, turning it from one side to the other in disbelief. Then, I ran my hands over his head, awestruck. He closed his eyes and smiled. I placed both hands on either side of his lovely face and I couldn't hold it in any longer, I started to laugh. Louis' eyes shot open and the smile died on his face. His jovial looked turned into a venomous stare.

"Wait, Louis, wait!" I said sliding one hand down to his shoulder.

I managed to subdue my laughter before it turned into an all out fit and just stood there with my right hand on his face and the left on his shoulder.

"Come here!" I said running my hands over that short cropped head of his and pulling him into an embrace.

I kissed his cheeks, his nose, his closed eyes and the top of his freshly shaven head. I held him at arms length.

"My God!" I exclaimed. "Louis, you are so *cute*!" I couldn't help it, I rubbed his short hair from back to front hypnotically.

He chucked a bit and shook his head, removing my hand from its ministrations to his shaven head.

"Lestat, kittens. . .are cute. Puppies and bunnies are cute. *I*, look like a holocaust victim!"

I grabbed his chin and kissed him full on the mouth, hard.

"No, Louis. You don't." I told him while trying to drag him to the couch.

Well, what'd ya think?? please r/r..........(alright, i'm a compliment whore, what can i say!)

(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]From: x_x_sickgrrl
2006-04-14 11:01 am (UTC)

Re: nice

why, thankee kindly, ma'am!!!!

no, seriously, i appreciate your kind words.
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[User Picture]From: blood_ecstasy
2006-05-07 01:40 am (UTC)
Beautiful. I couldnt help but laugh. This story is love. <3
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[User Picture]From: x_x_sickgrrl
2006-05-07 04:34 pm (UTC)
thank you. it made me laugh to write it. i'm glad you enjoyed it! :)
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From: vampirexlora
2006-08-16 12:47 am (UTC)
lmao genious =] i had to change my pants after =] <3
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[User Picture]From: x_x_sickgrrl
2006-08-16 04:26 pm (UTC)
sweet! anytime I can make a person wet themselves is a good day in my book! :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)